And So It Ends

I cry, shout
I ask you to leave
And never come back
The door slams
Behind you
As you go
Is this the end?
Right now
I don’t care

I watch
As you walk away
You don’t look back
Not even once

I wait
For a call
Or a text
A message
On my wall
Another apology
I can furiously reject

But you don’t try
You don’t call
You don’t stand by my window
Waiting for a glimpse of me
You don’t wait outside my door
Hoping to talk to me
You don’t haunt my favourite spots
Hoping to run into me
You don’t call my friends
Asking them to help you
Make me love you again
The things you don’t do
Are much more painful
Than what you have done
Before

I am still angry
I’d slam the door
In your face
If you came around
But how I long
For you to come around

So I wait
Till waiting turns to longing
And to sadness
I wait and wait
But you’re done
You’re done
With I’m sorry
With proving how much
You do love me
In fact it seems
You’re done with me.

Reply to "And so it ends" by Tolu Akinyemi

You cried, I was calm
But cried in my heart
You asked me to leave
I did leave
The door slammed
In my face
Like a gunshot in my brains
I did leave
My head up held high
But my Heart crushed down

I walked away
I hoped you'll call me back
Though with assails
(To safe your face)
you didn’t
I walked away
Feeling the holes
Your eyes bored in my back
As you peered from behind
The window blinds
Baptized in your tears
You did not call me back
As each step I took
took me away from you
I choked like grains
in the mouth
of a ten-day old
As lumps formed in my throat
My heart turned back,
but my pride held back

Twice a day
At dawn and its tail
I dialled your line,
but my pride always won

I have confessions-
Unsent.
Emails and messages for your wall
All unsent-
The backspace always won

But now-
My heart has lost its hue
And my days are in greyscale
Now I know
Folly is a man
That bears my name
What guns won't
What wars won’t
Pride would take
I might not do all
to get what I want
but I should have done all
to keep what I got
To my ego
I lost the only pearl
I ever found
I can ever find
on that day I walked away
when I thought with my feet

but now-
I'm coming back
to the only home
I've always known
I only hope
you still stand
by that door
that once slammed
in my face
shutting daylight
from my day
I hope you still wait
Though with venom on your lips
but with love in your limbs
that when I’ve humbly bathed
in the rain of your wrath
I eventually get squashed
In your warm heavenly embrace

Yes-
Yes, I'm done
WIth saying I'm sorry,
Now I'll stay sorry
Yes, I'm done
With proving how much
I do love you
Now I'll prove
To love you is all,
The only thing I can do

And so it ends
our loving forth and back
like a twig in the tides
And so it end
Door slammings
and thinking with my legs
And so it all ends
For this is the last time
I'll ever have to say
I'M SORRY